Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Vito Fonzarelli

Disgraced drunk driving adulterer Rep. Vito Fossella (R-NY-13) has taken refuge in the upstairs garage apartment of one of his non-lesbian sisters, apparently having been booted from the Fossella manse by his wife Mary Pat, mother of three of his children. Presumably he wouldn't stay with his lesbian sister Victoria Fossella even if she offered because she's, well, a lesbian; and he has a family values image to uphold.

Fossella joins the list of grown men of marginal circumstance who took up abode in someone else's garage, such as Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli (right, top) and Kato Kaelin (right, bottom). Fonzarelli lived in the upstairs garage apartment of Mr. and Mrs. C for ten years, and Kaelin lived for free in O.J. Simpson's garage guesthouse during a period of flux in Simpson's life.

Fossella has not yet announced whether he will resign from his congressional seat, serve out his current term and retire, or run for re-election. If he runs for re-election, it is not clear if he would intend his new digs to serve as campaign command central. Since campaign funding would likely be scarce, that may be his only option.

Two-dimensional sitcom lothario, perpetual guest, shark jumper. When people start groaning at how bad the whole program is, it's time for the show to be canceled.

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